I have lazy bones

She who thinks she knows everything, my human mum, calls me lazy bones. No mention of lazy muscles or eyebrows or tummy. Just my bones. I dispute this.

For starters, they support my body and help me move. My bones hold my body together and keep it from collapsing to the ground. They protect my inside organs. They're my skeleton. They are gainfully employed. And not just nine to five like humans. My bones are quite active 24 hours a day.

Even when I am not moving, my bones are producing blood cells and storing and releasing fat and minerals. They are busy little workers.

Dogs sleep around 18 hours a day. That's because we're smart enough to know, unless we are going for walks or guarding the castle or chasing rats and cats or greeting people at the front door, there is no point expending energy. So we sleep. Of course, we wake up for food. And to have a pee or pooh. But the rest of the time we sleep.

I've noticed that humans take ages to get going when they have been sleeping. They are slow and dozy and need to rub their eyes and yawn. Such a performance just to wake up. Not us dogs. We can go from sleep to action in an instant.

I think we have got it right. Humans wait until night time to sleep even if they feel sleepy during the day. Dogs sleep whenever.

And I have another bone to pick with her. Calling me lazy bones means she thinks I am a do-nothing, idler, layabout, loafer and don't earn my keep. I most certainly do. I am a very attentive pet. I hate being called a pet, but that's my job. A companion to a human. Someone to tickle and cuddle and talk to when there is no one else around and love unconditionally. Twenty four hours a day, day in day out. So don't call my bones, or any other part of me, lazy.