Some time ago, when I was a wee pup, I told you some of the names she calls me. Cute, cuddly names like Fluffball and Squirrel. Not any more.
Now I am Gobbleguts, Knucklehead or Smart Ass. Names that hurt my feelings.
Bandy Legs. Insulting.
Pork Pie? I am not fat. All muscle and barrel chest.
Dumb Dog. That's when I lie on the paving in the midday sun and am panting because of the heat. "Why don't you lie in the shade, Dumb Dog?" says she. Doesn't she understand how glorious it is to have the heat of the sun soak into me. I am not dumb. I can bark.
Boofhead.
What about Sputnik (a Russian astronaut, where did that come from?) More indicative of her mental state than mine, I suspect.
"Good morning, Fairybread."
Sea Urchin. Usually after we have been to the beach.
Golf Ball. Huh?
Rumplestiltskin (that's because I like sleeping)
Sometimes I get them.
Bubblebath. That's because I am white and whimsical.
Luscious Locks. True. I have pearlescent curly hair.
Other times, I am completely baffled.
Rubic's Cube.
Where does Hoot'n Annie come from?
Looney Tune.
Rubber Ducky. Can't she see that I'm a dog?
Raggamuffin.
Poohbum.
Guacomole. I am NOT green. Is she colour blind?
Well! I have a name for her. Nuts.
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