She's calling me names

Some time ago, I wrote about having an identity crisis because she was calling me different names. Since then, she has explained that names can be expressions of affection. They mean that I am loved and adored. So much love and adoration for moi! I am no longer in crisis. Cancel the therapist's appointment.

This morning she called me Dog. That doesn't sound very loving to me. I know that's what I am but I am much more than a dog. I am a West Highland Terrier of impeccable lineage.

What about Wombat! Or Porcupine. She's getting her species mixed up. Stupid woman.

I know we all have short legs and rotund bodies, especially when in need of a haircut. But really, I'd rather be Dog.

Where do these names comes from? Just like that! She calls me Poohbar or Fluffball or Honeybear or Bumble Bee or Bootifools or Waggles. She calls me Cuddlepie a lot.

At least I know that Waggles comes from wagging my tail so much. I have no control over my tail. It likes to wag. Left to right, right to left most of the time. But sometimes up and down, down and up. I wish it would wag in circles sometimes. Maybe it does. I can't see it wagging. Eyes to front, tail to back. I'm told, the more I smile, the more my tail wags. I don't ask my tail to wag. It just does what it likes best, which is wagging.

Milou's dad, who is now Dirty Bertie's dad, still calls me Locket Sprocket. I get that. It's a blokey name. She never calls me Locket Sprocket.

She calls me sissy names. Cute and cuddly names. Silly names. Except when she calls me Lochinvar, my official name, I know she's not happy with me. I put up with them because I like to feel love and adoration, but I do wish she would sometimes call me something a bit more butch like Brutus or Arnold Schwartzenegger. There are muscles under all this pearlescent fur and I have a very strong chest for forging forward into the unknown.

Lochy the Brave. Now there's a name for a Westie. Or Sean Connery. I like that. Good looking and sexy and Scottish. That's me. Bit more Brave Scot and a little less of the fluff please.