She tried to murder me.

Honestly. She did. She put me in a room full of cooked chicken bones.

As soon as she opened the door, I could smell them. Chicken bones. The air was full of chicken. Is she going to let me loose and gorge on chicken bones to make up for all the horrid things that she's ever done to me? I was on my leash so I waited for her to unclip it and let me indulge.

But no, she talked and laughed and hugged the other human women.

I couldn't care less about them, I was looking at the chicken bones.

Thousands of them. In piles on the floor, hanging off the walls. All in little doglet size edible in one mouthful pieces. Knuckles, shin bones, thigh bones, wing bones. All woven together so that they looked like little children. Some even had feather skirts and one had a fluffy red coat like a feather duster. Some with little teddy bears and furry baby rabbits in their hands.

What a lot of effort to make those chicken bones even more enticing.

All I had to do was pounce and I could devour them.

Then, suddenly I thought, is she trying to kill me?

I am NEVER allowed to have cooked bones. Strictly off-limits. They become brittle and easily break into sharp shards that can do a lot of damage when they pass through my gastrointestinal tract. And kill me.

Why would she bring me here if she knows chicken bones can kill me? Had she planned this all along? Premeditated murder? An innocent walk in the afternoon sunshine leading me to the gallows? Was she going to get rid of me for a younger Westie now that I am a three year old adult? Had she had enough of my Westie contumaciousness?

I was so betwixt and between. I knew I couldn't resist the chicken bones but I didn't want to die. Not yet. There were still mud baths to jump into and Greenies to chew and light poles to sniff and tumbles with Bertie to be had.

Then she made up my mind for me. Suddenly, she exclaimed "Chicken bones!" Drrrrrr like she had just noticed them.

She chickened out. She couldn't go through with it. Out we went. She tied me to the door post and went back in.

Well, that solved that. No chicken bones for moi. I will live to live another day.