Why four legs are better than two

Of course they are, otherwise, we dogs wouldn't have four legs. I feel sorry for humans with two legs but if they used their nous, they'd use their arms as legs.

A significant advantage of the quadrupedal design (that's using four legs for you numbskulls with poor vocabulary) is the stability it provides. Four legs create a larger base of support, which makes it easier for us to maintain balance while moving on uneven terrain.

Some researcher at University of California says walking on two legs consumes less energy than walking on all fours. Of course he is going to say that. He's human. Humans have been walking on two legs for 10million years. You've had lots of practice.

You'd think that after all that practice, you'd be able to move faster. You are slow-coaches. I can run faster than you any time. And you haven't a hope of running as fast as a cheetah which is the fastest animal in the world and can run 70km/h. On four legs. Even Usain Bolt can't come close. Humans can only run 13km/h. And that's very very few of you. The rest of you are lucky if you can catch a mosquito.

A Jack Russell can run 38km/h. I reckon I could run as fast as a JR any day. I'm a terrier. A West Highland White Terrier (a Westie to my friends) and it's in my genes to chase rats and rabbits and other vermin that Scottish farmers don't like.

True, you could outrun a Tyrannosaurus rex but back then you were probably knuckle-walking like chimpanzees, so that is cheating. And those Tyrannos were so big and fat, they had a definite disadvantage.

I could walk on two legs if I wanted to. But I don't want to. Being close to the ground on four legs frees me up to sniff and find all those tell-tale signs that other dogs have been in the same place. Think what you are missing out on. All that minutiae of life because you are walking around with your backs straight and your noses stuck up in the air.

And four legs is definitely an advantage when eating and drinking. Straight from bowl to mouth without getting my paws grubbing or needing to use a fork or spoon or glass or cup. Super efficient. And no washing up.

Some humans teach us to walking on two legs like a party trick. Other humans laugh because they think we are trying to be like humans. No we aren't. We only do it because we know that at the end of a party trick, there is a treat. Outsmarted you yet again.

Four legs four-ever.